Saturday, June 17, 2017

Don't See Me

Don’t See Me!

My son used to say this when he was little. He was shy and didn’t like to have attention drawn to him. His first season of soccer, he refused to walk up and get his trophy, he wouldn’t take an individual photo because everyone would be looking at him, and he had a huge scowl on his face for the group picture. It’s as if in some way his pouting would make him less visible in the picture.

I carry some of those same feelings. While I may want to be recognized for an accomplishment, I am very uncomfortable with attention drawn to me in a group setting. I don’t like the spotlight. It’s another way of saying, “Don’t see me.” Notice my accomplishments, but don’t put me on display.

There are differing ways we say don’t see me.

Don’t see me because I am shy. I am uncomfortable in the spotlight.

Don’t see me doing what I know is wrong, or at best – not best. If no one sees me eat this candy bar, then it doesn’t count. We are hiding from what others think and hiding from our own acknowledgement of what is true.

Don’t see me in church and ask me to volunteer. If I don’t make eye contact, they will see someone else.

Don’t see me when I don’t want to be called on in class. If I don’t make eye contact with the teacher, she won’t notice me and won’t call on me to answer a question I might get wrong in front of others. 

If we can run from it or ignore it, we can pretend it doesn’t exist. But others do see us.

Don’t see me, God. Don’t notice when I do things my way. Don’t notice when I ignore Your promptings. If I don’t look at God, maybe He won’t look at me. 

But that’s the whole problem, isn’t it? When I don’t look at God, it’s then I am most likely to tell Him, don’t see me.

Don’t see me, don’t see me, don’t see me.

Lord, search my heart. Wash me, and make me clean, so I no longer want to say, “Don’t see me.” 

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